struck with deep pang of brotherly concern last night tuning in to watch democracy now.  something has happened to our dear sister, Amy Goodman, causing her some kind of facial paralysis.  the right side of her face is unmoving -- her right eye unblinking.  caught her interview with seymour hersh this morning -- same situation.

this might sound facil or overblown, but, truly, one of the very high points of my life in the last decade was hearing the radiant delight and exuberance in amy's voice as she reported the protests around the world that preceeded the invasion of Iraq.  like, if Amy is happy, wowwie-wow-wow-wow, we can all be happy!  eh?

that broadcast is immortalized in a song by a group called le tigre: Peace Now! -- a song that can still crack through my cynicism and despair, and break my heart open!




have been googling this morning, trying to learn what's happened to Amy, but, so far, find nothing.  any news out there?

send her some love!



UPDATE!: she explained on today's program right after the news (10:48 in) that she has "a temporary condition called bell's palsy" affecting a facial nerve that will last for several weeks.

have gone off the reservation with regard to the "best" advice i've been given to mollify the ills that ail me.  i'm up to HERE! with known and unknown side effects.

"so, you've been chronically depressed for ages, punctuated with acute/severe episodes; hospitalizations; ECT; etc.  restorative sleep is a thing of the past.  fatigue is a constant  . . . AHA!  we have a solution.  but, you'll have to stop eating cheese, or you could die."

F**K THAT!  cheese is my friend!

gonna "go with," "float" with the "identity crisis" aspect of this samsara sickness.  like, where do i belong? 

i've reached out to a western born teacher of Dzogchen: can i come along?  like, availing myself to the Innate Great Perfection -- that's who i am, that's where i belong. 

and, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe i should cave to my Wilberitis, and dole out a few shekels for an ILP Kit, afterall.

have consecrated my body, mind, and soul to "radical readaption" and "the great makeover/shapeover" before.

bought some vitamins instead of filling my prescriptions.

just gotta keep chipping away.